Betrayal, Infidelity – 4 Steps To Come To Terms With It

Betrayal  is one of the most difficult situations that partners have to face. The infidelity of one of them means that the trust and everything that they have built together for a long time will simply crumble and there is not always any chance of rebuilding it.

There are people among us who are by nature unfaithful, for whom it is hard to believe that the  betrayal  was only a one-time outburst. If you have no chance of improvement or forgiveness, it is best to end the relationship once and for all.

The betrayed person always suffers, and also struggles with a feeling of great frustration and disappointment. Her partner’s infidelity takes away all illusions and it is very difficult to recover and live again after such a tragedy.

Some people decide to save such a relationship. However, it is hard to forget and forgive. Let’s take a moment to reflect on the subject of betrayal and whether and how to live together afterwards.

1. Betrayal is endless pain

When it comes to cheating, an honest and long conversation between partners is necessary. The person who committed the betrayal must be 100% honest at this point. This is a condition that must be met if the relationship is to be saved.

The truth has already been lost. It is therefore crucial that no further lies arise. A betrayed person experiences great pain and disappointment. Perhaps he wants answers to many questions, but once he hears them, he doesn’t feel much better about it.

But talking is necessary – the worst thing you can do is keep it quiet and pretend nothing happened. You mustn’t hide your pain and pretend it doesn’t exist.

Even perfectly covered, it will remain inside us and sooner or later it will reappear on the surface. It is not true that “what the eyes do not see, the heart does not regret.” You can’t pretend, you can’t deceive yourself, you can’t go on pretending that nothing happened.

Betrayal is a never-ending pain, it will tear in the heart, which will sooner or later speak again when you least expect it. By pretending you don’t know what happened or by saying there’s nothing to talk about, you just postpone the inevitable.

Decisions about a relationship after a betrayal must be made as soon as possible. Perhaps a breakup will be less painful than having to relive everything a hundred times.

2. Betrayal – you have to face the truth

Some couples manage to rebuild their relationship even after being cheated on, but their relationship will never be the same as before.

When someone has so painfully compromised our trust, the moment comes to ask yourself a few key questions. Can we forgive treason? Are we able to look that person in the eye, or are we able to sleep peacefully by their side?

Be honest with yourself, because only honesty matters in this situation. Many people automatically answer the above questions in the affirmative. Later, however, it turns out that they cannot stop brooding and reminding their partner about what happened. One solution is to temporarily separate, move out or leave.

This allows you to look at the situation from a different angle and think whether it makes sense to rebuild such a relationship.

It all depends on the situation, your views, emotions, feelings … For some, a “one-time jump”, betrayal under the influence of alcohol or away, is forgivable and in some way explainable. In turn, the same people would not be able to come to terms with the fact that their partner has been living a double life for some time.

For others, a single partner’s adventure is reason enough for the relationship to end once and for all.

Joint therapy may be an option for some. However, it is only effective if you both want and need such support, and most of all – you trust that your partner will really change and will never hurt you in this way again.

Forgiveness requires tremendous strength and love. Not everyone can do it and it cannot be expected of anyone.

3. A breakup is the end, it can be the beginning

The disappointment seems insurmountable, but you have to believe that it is not. Infidelity is a great harm, but it is not true that it is the end of your whole life. Perhaps this is the moment to close a certain stage, but in a moment to open a completely new one – better.

If you can forgive and you feel that the feeling between you has not burned out at all, it may be worth fighting and trying to solve this situation together. Even after the betrayal, there are still chances of rebuilding the relationship. You just need to both want it very much and take into account the difficulties that you may face.

On the other hand, if you know that you cannot look the other person in the eye anymore and you do not want to risk more days of pain and disappointment, the solution is to break up. A breakup is also not the end – it can only be the beginning. Everything is in your hands, you just need to overcome your fear.

4. Revenge is not a solution

revenge is not a solution, and it won’t make us feel any better.

It can only be a source of further damage and problems. Whether your betrayal is a means of revenge or you want to make your partner jealous – it won’t help you deal with the pain and disappointment. Doing so will not actually accomplish any of your goals, and will only cause you additional suffering.

Betrayal is primarily pain and frustration. Don’t be afraid to talk openly about your feelings, cry, talk to your friends, let yourself be helped, because you are certainly surrounded by people who want to help you.

Don’t do anything rash so you don’t have to regret it later. Living in a relationship after cheating is possible, but it takes work and strength. Whether you choose to live together or apart, remember that there is always time to start over and be happy.