Children – Teach Them To Live Happily, Not Perfectly

Raising  children  is a huge challenge that each of us would like to meet. Very often, however, we equate educational success with the child meeting all our expectations – from obtaining the appropriate education to his personal life.

Meanwhile, experts report that  children whose parents have set the bar too high do not grow up to be happy people. What’s more, they often struggle with problems such as depression in their adult life. Therefore, instead of teaching them how to live perfectly, maybe it is worth teaching them how to live happily?

Many parents confuse a good upbringing with a perfect upbringing, in which the child’s satisfaction and joy do not count, but its learning results and meeting new tasks, challenges and obligations.

Children raised this way may grow up to be adults who are fluent in several languages, but are they happier?

This kind of upbringing can be summed up in a few words: children raised up to be ideal people do not become happy people. That is why we must emphasize the importance of caring for the development of our child’s individual characteristics and allowing him to make independent decisions.

Perfect parents and unhappy children

At this point, it is worth mentioning a story that perfectly illustrates what we want to tell today. It is about a Roman tomb from 94 BC that has been attracting crowds of tourists for years. For what reason?

The inscription on the stone says that in the tomb rests “Quintus Sulpicius Maximus, a Roman who died at the age of 11, 5 months and 12 days, just a few days after the adult poetry contest in which he participated.” It is known that Quintus had an extraordinary talent, today he would certainly be hailed as a genius child.

His parents decided to use these abilities and forced him to compete with adults in poetry and literary competitions. It is believed that the boy died of exhaustion because he was working beyond his strength to meet the expectations of his parents.

This sad story is a classic example of the detrimental effect of parents’ expectations of their own children.

Contemporary struggle for perfect children

Many parents dream of their child being perfect. Often, in the best faith, they try to develop all his talents to ensure the best possible future for him. Unfortunately, not always what seems best to parents is actually best for their children.

• The basic mistake is to focus only on the future of our children. We forget that what is most important for a child is here and now. You have to let the little ones enjoy each day because childhood doesn’t last forever.
• Moderation is needed in everything. Let your child experience an unforgettable childhood – there will be time for adulthood and the sheer volume of duties.
• Do not raise an ideal child, but a happy child. Show your child the way, but don’t force him in a direction where he or she refuses to go and will never feel fulfilled.

How to curb your parental perfectionism?

If you want your child to grow up to be a happy adult, as a parent, you must first and foremost avoid harmful and toxic perfectionism.

Keep in mind some of our tips to help you curb the unbearable need to control your child’s life.

Be careful what you say and how you behave

Perfectionism does not always hit a child directly, but it does affect their future life anyway. For example, when you judge yourself very strictly as a parent and emphasize all your failures over and over again, the child also adopts this kind of attitude.

When children hear the same words over and over again, such as “failure”, “defeat” or “failure”, they are much more likely to lower their self-esteem and not recognize their successes.

Don’t overdo your requirements and protect your baby

Let’s discuss it with a specific example. Suppose your son is proud of himself because he got a good grade in math at school. Instead of praising him, however, you inquire why the grade was not even better, because you demand more of him.

This is a huge parenting mistake that not only makes your child feel like they are not self-esteem, but you also take away all their enjoyment of what they thought was their achievement. Children brought up in this way quickly lose faith in the sense of hard work. In addition, they are more likely to have low self-esteem and even develop depression.

Cross your fingers but don’t punish the kids for their mistakes

People make mistakes, and this also applies to children. There is nothing wrong with a mistake, especially if there is a lesson to be learned from it for the future. Let the kids make mistakes, and don’t assume it will end up wrong for sure.

In the role of a parent, qualities such as tolerance, understanding and faith in the child’s abilities are essential. When your children trust you, they build a unique relationship with you that you should treat as an extraordinary privilege.

Remember!

We live in a time of a kind of social crisis, which makes the challenges facing us, parents, more and more. We want to educate our children so that they are well prepared for life.

The importance of developing emotional intelligence in children must not be forgotten . This is because it guarantees that they will grow up to be happy adults, capable of giving as much as possible.

It is a task facing not only parents, but also grandparents and teachers. Generally, in front of adults whom our children meet on their way every day.

Remember – bring up a happy child, not a perfect child!