Sleeping With Parents – Where Does This Habit Come From In Children?

There can be many reasons why children want to sleep in their parents’ bed. Some of the toddlers feel fear of the dark, others seek a sense of security or are simply very attached to mum or dad.

Almost every baby wants to sleep in one bed with his parents. Although this topic is controversial, it is a very common practice. Let’s take a closer look at it to learn about both its advantages and disadvantages.

It is worth realizing that for a child, sleeping with parents is not only a desire to be together, but also a need for a sense of security. This is because many young children struggle with the fear of the dark and other night terrors. Hence, they regularly wander to their parents’ bed.

Sleeping with my parents – a whim or a need?

All children have their own needs and always want something. Some ask for toys, others for sweets, and others for the constant company of mom or dad. No wonder – after all, who will provide a baby with more love and care than his parents?

As it turns out, many homes practice “family” sleeping. This is due to the fact that for some reason the child cannot fall asleep on its own and goes to the parents’ bedroom to look for safety. Over the years , many different theories have arisen about the origins of such behavior in young children.

However, the biological nature of man deserves the most attention. In general, human beings from the first days of life feel a great need for contact with other individuals and a kind of fascination with them. We always need this closeness, regardless of the time of day or night.

Let’s take a closer look at both sides of the coin.

Parents who advocate sleeping together generally cite arguments related to creating strong family bonds.
In turn, the opponents of this practice forcefully send their children to a room and consistently make them fall asleep on their own. For everyone has their own place to rest and neither party should infringe the space of the other.

Why do children like to sleep with their parents?

Are you wondering if sleeping with your parents is a good solution? You don’t have an opinion on this subject? Are you hesitating whether you should give your baby a place in the marriage bed? Or maybe your child wakes up in the middle of the night or cannot fall asleep without contact with the parent’s warm body?

In the further part of the article you will learn where children come from wanting to sleep in a “big bed” and what are the pros and cons of such a habit, both for the baby and for you – parents.

There can be many reasons why children want to sleep in their parents’ bed. Logically, a person’s needs change with the age and personality of a person. However, the family atmosphere and the parent-child relationship have a huge impact on the child’s behavior.

For example, infants up to the age of two show a great desire to sleep with their parents.

How to solve this problem so that neither side gets hurt?

Verbal communication with the child at this stage of his life is practically impossible, because the toddler is not able to speak well and freely express his thoughts. So it’s hard to understand the real reasons why he doesn’t want to fall asleep or spend the night in his own bed.
If we take a closer look at the animal world, in most cases the little ones stay in a common nest for the first weeks or months. This is what nature created and the toddler will naturally strive for contact with the mother’s or father’s body. It gives him a sense of security.
When a parent sees that a toddler needs to be around him, he generally agrees to let the whole family sleep in the same bed. It can also be convenient for the mother as she doesn’t have to get up to feed at night.
On the other hand, some specialists recommend that the baby should start to sleep in its own bed from the fourth or fifth month of life. This opinion is sure to find both supporters and opponents.

In many cultures, sleeping with your parents is perfectly natural and understandable. This occurs mainly in underdeveloped countries and in tribal life that is still present. There, no one is surprised that the six- or seven-year-old still sleeps in the same bed with his parents.
However, without going that far, let’s take a look at the habits of the Japanese – a society at a very high level of development. As long as the child feels the need to do so, sleeping with the parents is not a problem for anyone. On the other hand, when the child is older, it is easier to explain why she should start sleeping in her own bed.

Why is sleeping with their parents a natural instinct for children?

Fear of the dark

Undoubtedly, the fear of the dark is one of the most common causes of a baby’s “migration” under the parents’ quilt. Although it is hard to believe, many children are terrified of the dark.

Children who struggle with the fear of the dark instinctively seek a solution to their problem through contact with their mother or father. By seeing that this is how it is, you can help your little one fight the fear.

Don’t ignore the fact that your baby is looking for a sense of security in your bedroom. Monitor his behavior closely to discover the true root of the habit.
Perhaps the matter will be solved by reading or telling fairy tales to your child before going to bed and leaving a little light to lighten the darkness in the room a bit.
Or maybe the problem is more serious and a psychologist should be consulted. Nyctophobia is a panic fear of the dark, which is very often faced by young children. It is usually a temporary disorder that goes away on its own as the baby grows.

Fear of loneliness

It is perfectly normal for young children to experience various kinds of anxiety. Every parent should understand that its tiny speck is still a very small and completely defenseless creature.

In the world of nature, cubs do not part with their mother until they become fully independent. The situation is similar in humans – a small organism feels insecure when neither of the caregivers is in sight or “feeling”.

Hence, sleeping with parents appears to be the most normal behavior among infants. The baby instinctively approaches its mother and that is why it does not want to sleep alone.

A boy in bed with a flashlight and a monster on the wall

Thanks to your support, the child will become more and more independent, and finally abandon your bed forever. Perhaps you will miss him again …

The Step by Step method is a great tool for strengthening a child’s self-esteem from the earliest months of life. separation anxiety.

Attachment to parents

It is well known that children feel a special relationship with their parents. It is only natural for them to want to spend time with them, play with them and always be around. This attachment is very strong in some children, while in others it is a bit looser.

The absence of parents may, therefore, be a reason for reluctance to sleep in their own bed. Let us remember that children perceive adults as a mainstay of safety. The sense of parental care is especially important for them in periods of intense nightmares and fantastic delusions.

In this case, each parent should ensure that the child gradually learns to deal with these difficult times. If we exceed the permissible limit of overprotection, we run the risk of raising an overly dependent toddler. For many years, he may have a problem with becoming independent and sleeping in his room.

Parents and children – the benefits of sleeping in one bed

You have to decide for yourself whether sleeping with your parents has a positive or negative effect on each side. Opinions on this subject are divided. Probably this habit has both advantages and disadvantages. Let’s start with the advantages!

Peaceful sleep for both the child and the parents.
Possibility of feeding and looking after the baby without getting out of bed.
Better control of infant sleep apnea, which can lead to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.
Building a strong emotional bond between parents and the child.
Parent and child sleep synchronization.

Sleeping with parents – disadvantages

Letting children sleep in their parents’ bed is seen by many as a harmless practice that each parent should decide for themselves. However, there is a large group of people convinced that sleeping with parents has a negative impact on both the parents’ life and the development of the baby.

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Deterioration of parents’ sleep quality.

Stimulating the child’s sense of dependence on parents.
Weakening of the intimate bond between mother and father.
Risk of crushing the child by the parent’s body while sleeping.
Making it difficult for your baby to get used to falling asleep in his own bed on his own.

Conclusions

Sleeping with children or not is a personal decision of the parents. Before you do it, consider all the pros and cons to know which solution will be more beneficial for you.

If you are one of those advocates of having your baby sleep in your own cot, keep the following in mind:

Let your toddler sleep with the lamp on if he is scared of the dark.
Create your own bedtime routine. Thanks to this, the child will know when it is time to go to bed.

However, if you decide to allow your child to sleep in a shared bed, carefully analyze the whole situation to keep it under control at all times and prevent the child from becoming overly dependent on you, the parents.